Tuesday, June 16, 2015

To be real...

I haven't posted here in nearly a year. Life has been such an amazing whirlwind of adventures since then. So, writing took the form of a thesis and final grant proposals, in order to finish graduate school. I did. Now, I am settling into the space I found myself in when I first moved to Milwaukee. The awkward stage of, "I did what everyone told me I was supposed to do; now what?"

The dreaded space of "now what?" I can't tell you how many people have asked me what the "real world" feels like, or when am I going to get a "real job?" 

Excuse me? Am I not real? What world have I been living in? I chose real-ness a long time ago. I chose to be real when I chose to follow trust instead of fear, and uncertainty over predictability. I chose real life when I chose to be who I am, and to quit hiding behind an eating disorder, anxiety, PTSD, trauma, bad choices, etc.

I am reminded of stupid body image posters that said, "Real women have curves," or "Real women are healthy, not skinny," blah, blah, blah. I'm calling BS.

Real is about being, not about looking. Real is in the showing up. I choose to be real in how I show up for my life. There's more to being a real woman than my body. Real women have bodies. Real women are badass, fierce souls no matter if they yell or whisper. We are all real women. So, what kind of real woman are you? 
I am real enough to:
Not hide myself from the world
Love myself fiercely and courageously
Be a huge force of open-hearted love 
Bike up hills halfway, and walk the rest
Cry the big, ugly, sobbing cry when I need to
Hug strangers
Fall in love, and make mistakes

Most of all I am real enough to let my heart crack wide open, even if it breaks sometimes, so that I can follow its wild, excited desire for living life.

This is the kind of real woman I am. 



No comments:

Post a Comment