the mirrors that show us

Despite the impressive grains and strides that I have made in improving the relationship I have with my body, one thing that can still really mess with my head is a good mirror. Or should I say, a bad mirror can really mess with me? The truth is...there is no truth when it comes to a mirror it seems. No matter if I like what I see or not, I'm still scared of them. Honestly, once I leave my house, I try to avoid them.

I like to think that I am realistic in my assessments of my body. Perhaps I am, but perhaps it's the willingness to embrace and truly love that this body is my body. This is ME. Me. What does it feel like to see all of me? Is that even possible-- just to see what is there, and not wish for more or less?

broken mirrors--broken lies.

I've avoided the mirror--I've avoided looking at the beauty that's there, because I was too scared of the flaws. What the hell, Mandi? The fact of the matter is, there is no single one of us that is either all bad or all good. End of story.

One of the most profound things that I experienced during my Nia White Belt Intensive this past July was the lesson in seeing all of life as art. Life IS ART! Art is meant to be seen, to be expressed and to be enjoyed. Art isn't just a painting. The way people dress is art, the way they walk with each other is art, the way we speak differently depending on where we are...it's all art. My eyes don't look exactly  like anyone else's on the face of this earth, and that astounds me and blows my mind.

There are more things that are right about my body, than are wrong with it, but every time I have looked in a mirror since I was 8 years old, I have looked for what is wrong  or to make sure it was ok. Who asked that piece of glass anyways? If I really, honestly don't care what other people think of what I wear or look like, then why do I care so much about what that glassy reflection says? It's because I've made it confirm the negatives that are in my head. I've made the mirror into the evidence that confirms the false stories that I tell myself about my faults. I am befriending the mirror from today forward. From now on, we shall only talk truth. We shall be as realistic as life...which means, there are far more amazing and beautiful things about me and about my body than the flaws and mistakes.

In order to teach Nia, I need to befriend myself--my true self--the self that I don't know too well just yet. So, I am going to break the rules of any body-image improvement strategy I've ever read. I am going to look in the mirrors now. I'm going to look at all the beauty that is really there, for me and for the world. I'm choosing to see my whole self, and what better way to do that than when I feel most like my true self--in Nia, present with my body, mind, spirit and emotions. To finally feel whole is the most indescribably wonderful feeling there is.

 

The Nia Technique-A sensory-based movement and dance practice that leads to health, wellness, and fitness of body, mind, spirit, and emotions. Dancing Nia was the way I found my joy!