You aren't going to find yourself here...

Do you ever think about something so long, that you wonder why you can't get a certain idea or thought out of your head? This one has been on my mind for the past few days.

 Mirrors. Personally, I always approach mirrors with extreme caution. It's almost as if I'm bracing myself against seeing something horrible. Yet, I always know who is going to be there when I actually do look at it. If I'm looking, I'm always there. Always have been, always will be. So then, why have I said so many times, "I don't even recognize the person who is staring back at me..."? Yet, I continue to stare...it's almost as if I'm trying to convince myself that one day, I'll actually see the the real me in that cheap piece of reflective glass. I think I have been wasting my time--and lots of it.

I started thinking, the only person I've ever looked at in a mirror is myself (for the most part), and I bet most people would say the same. We spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, but has anyone ever "found herself" (as in the self-actualized kind) by looking at her reflection?  I can't say that I've ever discovered anything profound about who I truly am by staring into a mirror. Staring into a mirror is for the most part, a solitary and quite lonely experience. I don't think I have ever realized how much of my "me-ness" is actually based on and even defined by the connections, interactions, words, feelings, experiences, and expressions that are far beyond what can be captured in that momentary, reflective glimpse offered by the mirror. A mirror will always only show me a one-dimensional picture this life.

Let's face it, the mirror's capabilities will never change, I can only expect so much from a piece of glass. If I want to discover (or explore) the other vast dimensions that comprise who I am, I have to turn around and quit looking at myself. It's time to look up and look out at who, and what is out there. That's where I am going to find the self that is inside the picture offered by that mirror. The mirror offers an incomplete and imperfect picture of who I am. A picture is good for some things, but not the whole story. What is my story? Where am I going to find the words for the story? Maybe they don't have to be words, maybe there are more pictures? Maybe there are more characters, more authors, more adventures, more something---

I posted a little sticky note above my mirror. "For further information about yourself, turn around. You won't find it here."
Corny? Perhaps, but for now, I think it works just fine.