Why is it not ok to talk about amazing things that we can do with food? Why is it taboo to say that we LOVE food, LOVE eating, or LOVE desserts etc.? Our whole society is scared to love food. Actually, I think most of us are just scared that anything that tastes good is bound to be "bad for us." Fuck that. (Sorry, that's the only thing that worked right there...) The only way it seems that someone can say that they LOVE food is if it's a known fact that he or she works out regularly or is just "naturally thin." It's not ok to say that you love food or eating unless you have a perfect body. Saying it without an ideal body seems to make people think (and then gossip), "maybe she shouldn't love eating and she could lose a little weight." Insert my previous expletive here. That's absolutely wrong.
Give me that funny, head-tilted look of confusion when I tell you that I love my German food, and I promise you, I won't keep quiet. Nope! I'm not a small person. I'm not skinny, I know that. And I don't want to be anymore, either! I wasn't happier OR healthier that way. I am healthy, and that's more than I can say I've been in a long, long, long time. I couldn't do 85% of what I LOVE doing right now when I was "skinny." No graduate school, no dancing, no yoga, no friends. Not to mention, I looked like I was dying, my hair fell out, my joints started degenerating, I passed out all the time, I couldn't think, I was depressed, and I could never sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time. Oh, but I was so normal. No thanks. I'm not willing to give up discovering the spirited, bright, quirky, and creative ambitious life I have right now. I'll learn to love the slightly bigger body I have now, thanks.
We're all convinced that we can only like food that is "good for us." NEWS FLASH: All food is good for us. If you hate food, or pretend to hate food you're going to miss out on so much of life that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with food. Somewhere along the line, we've tried to disconnect food from vitality and quality of life.
I realized this when I felt a sudden urge last week Friday to make a traditional German pastry "just because." I was feeling bored, and a little bummed. I didn't think it would turn into a teachable moment for me. As I finished baking and cleaning, I noticed that two of my roommates and I were just standing in the kitchen talking about life, funny dreams, and of course, food. I noticed that I was smiling and I was laughing. I was totally comfortable just having a conversation with two other people. Believe it or not, spontaneous conversations used to be off-limits for me. I was too uncomfortable and anxious about what to say. In explaining what I was making to my roommates, I thought about how it was baking that created that delightful moment of normalacy for me. An example of how capable I actually am to have normal conversations with people was brought to light through food. This was the first time I had baked anything in over 2 years.
Gratitude. Another lesson I've been taught by food. On the farm where I grew up, my dad is the neighborhood driveway snow-plower guy. When it snows, he gets up extra early (at about 4:30) to plow 3 extra driveways for neighbors (in addition to the 2 driveways that he has to plow). We aren't talking small 2-car driveways either. These are farm driveways. 2 of them are probably over 1/4 mile long each. Nonetheless, he does it anyway. He doesn't charge money, and doesn't really even expect anything in return. However, how have I always known my neighbors to show their gratitude? Food. So, naturally, I showed my appreciation for my roommates by baking one of the pastries for them! I can't tell you the sense of accomplishment I felt in hearing, "Mandi! This tastes really good! Thank you! That was so nice of you." And you bet I ate my fair share of the yummy, buttery, flakey pastry! (Friday AND yesterday)
Accomplishments, socialization, gratitude, lessons, life---all of this from baking a pastry! The pastry is long gone, but what I learned will be around forever.
Peace!
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