Today I realized that something is much different. No logical or intellectual explanation that I used to thrive upon seems to explain this-- I found myself in tears, several times today either for my own hurts or for those of others, but every one of those times I cried, I had a thought come into my head that had NEVER been there before--"I'm so thankful, and even sort of glad, that I am exactly where I am, with who I'm with, and feeling like this. It's actually ok. This sorta sucks and hurts, but deep down, I'm still actually really happy. I'm still ok."
In fact, I think I'm learning true compassion. It starts inside and radiates outward.
"I'm still okay."
ReplyDeleteThat is very similar to what I keep running through my head in the tough moments "I will be okay". That, and "I am enough". I used to find such affirmations cheesy but now I'm finding it's really the first step to living with that being true. Like it is for you now. I am happy for you that you are in that place :)